Keep Creative…With kids!
Maintaining your creative practice alongside parenting can be challenging on so many levels. In this episode I share tips I wish I knew when I was in the throes of parenthood and finding my way as a creative.
The tips are:
Keep it small.
Get the kids involved!
Have your project ready to go.
Connect with other creative parents.
Seek support
The housework can wait.
Think outside the square.
Be okay with less than perfect.
Links:
TRANSCRIPT
Well, hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode. This is episode 10. I can't believe it's 10 weeks since I first launched this podcast. Um, yeah. Time's flying by this year and it's been 10 weeks and I'm pretty proud that I've managed to publish an episode every week for the 10 weeks. I am about to take a little break after the next episode, because I'm going on a bit of an artistic holiday, which I'll talk about in the next episode, pretty excited about that. I'm going to Italy. Um, yes, I can't stop talking to people about that.
But we are coming up to the September school holidays, uh, as I'm recording this today. And even though my kids are adults now, I still vividly remember wondering what the hell I was going to do all day and every day to keep them amused and me sane. I would often take leave during the holidays so while it's really nice to be able to chill out with the kids and take a break from the school routine of evening homework and making lunches and strict bed times, being out of routine can also be unsettling to all the other beneficial routine activities, like self care, exercise and creativity. And in the midst of it back then, I didn't know about boundaries and I snuck my creative time in and around everything else that seemed more important at the time. And it's only recently that I've acknowledged what I need to do on a regular basis to maintain my wellbeing. Things like daily meditation. Moving my body. And most importantly, doing something creative every day. It's different for everyone. And I do acknowledge because I remember it that when you're in the throes of parenting, It's extremely difficult to prioritize your creative practice because first of all, mother guilt. You know, when the baby cries or the toddler throws a tantrum or the six-year-old needs to ask a million questions about dinosaurs you're not going to ignore them. It's just not natural or possible. And secondly, when you do get a moment to yourself, you're probably exhausted and the best you could do for yourself is have an early night or an evening watching Netflix, and no judgment on either of those things. And thirdly, maybe it seems daunting to begin a creative project or frustrating that every time you start something, it has to be packed away when life happens and you just lose the vibe to start again. I'm sure there are creative parents out there who can relate.
So in this episode, I'm going to share some ideas to help you maintain your creative practice alongside parenting.
These are tips. I wish I thought of when I was in the middle of it. And maybe some of these ideas might apply to other self care activities you've been struggling to make time for as well.
So tip number one. Keep it small. I often say this, but it really applies to parents with little kids. Um, maybe before kids, you used to lock yourself away for hours to write paint, play music. But now since kids have come along, it doesn't seem worth doing, if you don't have the same luxury of time. Well, the fact is you probably don't have blocks of hours to yourself anymore, but you might have 15 minutes during nap time. So break down the all or nothing thinking and embrace the small wins. Because doing a little bit every day is better than waiting until you have more time because let's face it, you probably won't have more time until the kids are adults. And doing a little every day, keeps your creative brain active. And it's good for your wellbeing, and you're more likely to actually finish your masterpiece doing 15 minutes a day than if you put it off until never. So make it a challenge to see if you can find 15 minutes every day to do your creative practice. You can track it on an app like I do in the streaks app, or in your diary or journal.
And remember, it's not about the end result, but the benefits you gain when you're in the flow of your creative practice.
Tip number two, get the kids involved. Kids are naturally creative and love to hang out with you. So if you can get them involved in something creative, like coloring or drawing, while you do your creative thing, it's a win for everyone. And by the way, if you didn't know, I have a coloring book available, which I'll link in the show notes. Other great ideas to keep little ones creatively occupied without constant supervision from you are sticker books sticky dots, puzzles and outside there's sand play and chalk drawing. And look, if you can't beat them, join them I say! So if they really want constant attention from you, then just get in and play with them. It's still creative. And fun. When was the last time you sat in the sandpit? It's really good fun.
Tip number three. Have your project ready to go. This is a point I mentioned in another episode about daily creativity. And I know it can be tricky if you don't have a dedicated room in the house where you can leave everything out and then close the door so inquisitive little people can't put themselves or your project in danger. And it depends of course, on how big and mobile your kids are and what your creative medium is. But I mean, until they’re climbing, your dining table or a desk even if it's in your baby's room could be your workspace.
If leaving the project out is really a bad idea then consider storing a box, a basket, or a tray of materials and supplies on your hall console, a bookshelf or in the linen cupboard. Could you possibly store bigger items in the garage or the laundry? Obviously packing them into a box or basket isn't quite as convenient as leaving everything out, but it's better than having to gather them from various areas of the house. And I don't know, maybe catching a glimpse of your project as you pass it every day will keep creativity at the forefront of your mind, rather than forgetting about it for the next six months.
Tip number four. Connect with other creative parents. Not only is it great to be able to share your experience with like-minded people but maybe they have other ideas of their own, how they manage their creative practice with kids. Maybe you could arrange play dates so one of you has time for yourself for your creative practice while the other one minds the kids, and then you can swap. Or be creative together, like a Crafternoon stitching circle or a scrapbooking day. Maybe getting out of the house for an evening, once a week to do an art class, a writing circle, drama class or music jam is what you need. Even just having regular connection with another creative parent who keeps you accountable to your practice through creative conversations is helpful.
Number five seek support. Communicate with your partner about what you need for your creative outlet and ask for their support to make it happen. Explain to them that it's not just a nice hobby, but important to your wellbeing. And, you know, you don't have to be dramatic about it, but. Luckily these days, maintaining good mental health is seen as a proactive step to overall health. And hopefully your partner is empathetic. Maybe this conversation opens a dialogue for them to express their own needs. And then it becomes a reciprocal arrangement of mutual support rather than one sided, which can lead to guilt on one side and resentment on the other. Sometimes just verbalizing your need for creative time out loud can be what you need to prioritize creative time. So then when you do have an opportunity, kids are asleep at a play date or otherwise occupied you remember what you verbalized to your partner, and now you're more likely to do your practice, than scroll through Instagram. Or do housework, which brings me to my next point.
Tip number six. The housework can wait. It really can. I wish I had my head around this one when my kids were little. The thing is there is always something to do around the house. The housework is never done. So stop procrastacleaning and get out your project. I used to create in the cracks of life, the slivers of free moments between responsibilities. Now I clean in the cracks. Okay ,That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point is I get my daily creativity done as a non-negotiable and then I tend to the house. And you know what it all gets done. My house is as tidy now as it was when I cleaned first. But the difference is now I do my creativity every day. And I'm much happier for it. It's simply a matter of flipping your priorities. So no matter what state the house is in, do some creativity first. Then do the house work.
Yeah, I know I can feel the resistance out there, but look, try it for a month and see what happens. And remember you're not a better parent if the house is spotless. You're a better parent. If you're in a good Headspace and your cup is full. And it all gets done in good time. Especially when you have guests arriving.
Tip number seven. Think outside the square. Yes, it's ideal if you can keep working on your masterpiece till completion, but remember creativity is everywhere and all around us. So if a few hours in the studio are just an impossibility right now. Embrace every day creativity. Here's some activities you might not think are creative, but they can be, if you put your creative mind to it. Baking and decorating a cake. Wrapping and present with love. Planning a dinner party menu. Setting the Christmas table. Picking and arranging a bunch of flowers from the garden.
Taking photos with a proper camera or just on your phone. Notice the beauty of nature on your walks, in the parks or buildings in the city and snap them. Putting together an outfit for a special occasion, extra points. If it's fancy dress. Creating a music playlist for a party, your workout, your commute.
How about all those kids costumes for book week, the Easter parade, Halloween? Very creative. And are you renovating? Well, every decision on color texture and scale is a creative one. So enjoy it. All these activities are probably things you've done many times and not noticed the creativity required. But once you start looking for the creative potential in the mundane, life is a lot more fun. And creative.
And finally tip number eight. Be okay. With less than perfect. Life is messy. Parenting is messy, but you do the best you can with what you have and the same goes for your creative practice. Okay. So it's challenging to write songs or a novel when the Wiggles are ear worming your brain. So your kids built Milo on your watercolor. So the baby wakes up every time you use the sewing machine. Frustrating, yes, but don't let us stop you from creative expression altogether. Maybe you need to pivot your medium for a while. Like try pencil, sketching or doodling if painting is too messy. Or scale down, try writing poetry or essays if the novel is overwhelming. Or stick with the novel and be okay with knowing it's going to be slow going. And remember that this is but a short phase of your life, and before you know it, the kids won't even want to talk to you and you'll have all the time in the world to work on your masterpiece. In the meantime, just do it messy and have fun with it. Like the kids do.
So I hope you found these tips helpful. Like I said earlier, this is all advice I would love to give my younger parent self. And maybe if you know someone who could do with this advice right now, please go ahead and share it with them. And so until next time, Keep creative with the kids and bye for now.
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